Aging Alone
May 30, 2015

I frequently work these days with folks facing the deterioration of the physical aspects of their lives, and with loss of those whom they love. Every person individually faces these universal and very human questions, and yet we seem to face them alone.
Other universal statuses in life we confront as communities: how to create loving relationships; how to choose a life occupation; where to live; what to do about the possibility of children. All of these major life decisions we learn about and discuss with friends, family, peers, in learning sessions, in other social groupings, and sometimes even in courses. But the even more universal questions of bodily deterioration, the meaning of my life, loss of major loves, loss of meaning, we face alone.
Often our theologies are not sufficient to satisfy the questions of these existential issues. Religion theoretically provides answers to the meaning questions in life. What has my life meant? What do I do when confronting a disastrous loss? How do I survive my pain? How do I preserve meaning when the meaning structures in my life (work, children, home, loved ones, etc) disappear from my life?
We should be discussing these issues along the life span, and particularly after 45 or 50 years old when they kick in big time. But we don't. Most often we assume that there are no satisfying (real) answers, so we put off and ignore the questions. But if we live long enough, there they are, right in front of us, demanding our attention.

One possible answer of many:
This afternoon, as I took my daily walk (used to run, used to bike, now I walk), I thought about the oneness of all creation. I find myself constantly attracted to two things: beauty, and the harmony of the universe. Whether thinking about how the complex structures of the world fit together in a single creation, or harmoniously sensing my place in that creation, I find myself emotionally attached to viewing my life as simply a small piece that fits harmoniously into a magnificent complexity. Beauty demonstrates to me how that wholeness is intertwined in an intricate variety that possesses ultimate meaning. When I strive to connect with those creations that surround me, viz.: nature, animals, all living creatures, environment for example, I discover a peacefulness that I can make a very minor contribution, and that contribution will not die with my body's death, but will continue its impact eternally. As I bear the mark of past generations living within me, so it will be with the world that follows me.
Focusing on my place in creation existing and breathing at this moment, I attempt to discover what is most significant to me: touching other lives, lessening the pain in others, contributing knowledge to the world. Since those things create meaning in my life, I am plotting how I will maintain them even as my body inevitably deteriorates. In other words: how do I maintain meaning when my past skills, loved ones and occupations disappear?
There's not enough space on FB to lay out the entirety of the issues. But I feel that someone must provoke the conversation that real solutions exist, but not if we go about trying to solve all of the existential problems of aging alone. Like the past decisions we made about our life choices, these too must be discussed and conclusions tested in communities we find trustworthy and similar to our experiences in life: among friends, family, our most trusted partners in living. Then we can move forward together, facing the complex world with our private solutions to universal issues of how to live our most meaningful years even while facing the losses in life.

Creating Children
May 23, 2015

How do we create children? Not as obvious as you might think.
Numbers 3 opens with this, "These are the generations of Aaron and Moses on the day that Adonai spoke to Moses on Mt. Sinai."
The chapter proceeds to list only the children of Aaron, not of Moses. Was this a mistake, since Moses is also prominently mentioned in the verse?
Commenting on this in the Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 19b, Rabbi Shmuel bar Nahmani said in Rabbi Yonatan's name, "Anyone who teaches Torah to his friend's son, the Torah credits him as though he gave birth to him." Then quoting our verse, the midrash concludes, "Aaron sired and Moses taught [them], therefore they were called by Moses' name."
Whom have you raised or greatly influenced? Whose life have you changed for the good, that was not your own biological child? The Rabbis credit the major influence in a child's life as being the parent.
Explaining this, Torah Temimah teaches, "They are thought of also as his children, and this is taught in Parashat v'Ethanan [the Shema] 'And teach them diligently to your children:' these are your students." And because of this the instructing rabbi is called "father," as [the prophet] Elisha called [the prophet] Elijah, "my father my father." (II Kings 2)
See also in Sanhedrin 99b, "Reish Lakish said, 'Anyone who teaches his friend's child, the Torah credits him as though he created him,' as it is said, 'The souls they created in Haran,' that Abraham would convert men and Sarah would convert women...'"
Abraham and Sarah are credited with creating the people whom they converted to the new religion. Whom have you converted to a new thought that influenced their lives on a fundamental level? Perhaps that should be a goal, to touch lives in a positive and overwhelming fashion.
In 1992 I wrote to my 3rd grade Hebrew teacher, who taught me to read Hebrew letters, and to my 8th grade English teacher, who gave me a C in English but taught me to diagram sentences, which changed my writing life after college. I was not a natural writer, and am still not. But I have written a huge amount in my life, and that teacher changed the course of my life.
Others had the opportunity, but chose not to take it. My gym teachers could have improved my health, since I was asthmatic, but were interested only in the good, natural athletes. But my senior year English teacher, Mr. Johnson, gave me an essay, the Myth of the Birth of the Hero, by Otto Rank, that changed my life. That small act sent my academic career in a new direction. He took an authentic interest in a student, and changed the direction of my life with one essay. He took a chance, and thought about what might interest me. It wasn't guaranteed to work, but it did.

Who might be called by your name, because you helped to create her soul? You may not share DNA, but perhaps you have formed another person's soul.

The Problem with Oppression
May 17, 2015

Last week my daughter and I took a wonderful vacation to Charleston, S.C. Among other sites, we visited Ft. Sumter, where the first shot of the Civil War was fired. There we witnessed and toured the Slave Mart Museum, located in the space once occupied by one of the largest slave markets in the Old South. It's a very educational, self-guided tour, on which it became patently obvious that slavery was not the goal. The goal was an easier life through economic prosperity for white southerners. Slavery was the means. And in order to achieve that goal in South Carolina, the first State to withdraw from the Union, where, by 1730, there lived more people with black skin than white skin, whites passed laws enabling them to control the lives of enslaved people. Those laws, often cruel, removed the dignity and humanity of plantation workers, but with a different goal: economic prosperity for white land owners. The slaves were a means to an end, mere property. Slaves' humanity was removed because treating them as human would have rendered unachievable the great prosperity the south enjoyed.

And the entire time I visited the museum I could not remove modern Israel from my mind. Israel's overall goal is security, for its Jewish inhabitants and citizens to live without fearing for their lives. The means for achieving that goal today involves separating Arab Israelis from Jewish Israelis, limiting where Arabs can live in some cases within the State of Israel, separating in some instances, not all, between citizens according to Jewish or Arab background, and often teaching suspicion, sometimes called caution, of the Arab minority.
And because of that suspicion, Bibi Netanyahu could pull off a last minute election victory by claiming that Arabs were being bused en mass to the poles to exercise their democratic right to vote, and thereby creating panic of "the enemy within."

And here's where some of you are going to not like this post: I could not help but think that the necessity for security is doing to Israel what the necessity of economic prosperity did to the South. You see, oppressing people, no matter what the goal, inevitably leads to subjugation and removing human dignity. The motive for oppression is irrelevant.

To remain in control of security, nearly every government of Israel has kowtowed to the ultra-Orthodox, and therefore The Jewish State is the only democracy in the world that does not allow religious freedom to all Jews. It's the only democracy in the world that limits the right to marry among its citizens, and therefore hundreds of thousand of Israelis are not permitted to marry legally in Israel. The Chief Rabbi of Safed has prohibited renting to Arabs or selling them property. Rabbis have demanded that soldiers not evacuate settlements on the West Bank, even if the government of Israel orders a withdrawal. And last summer, Sayed Kashua, an Arab Israeli Hebrew writer of novels and a columnist for Haaretz chose to leave his homeland rather than suffer the indignities of being an Arab citizen of Israel's democracy.

The current government of Israel wants to limit the power of the Supreme Court, the way the Kansas Governor wants hold sway over the State Supreme Court and refuses to enact an order of the court to increase money for education. The current government of Israel seeks to put in place a Basic Law stating that Israel is a Jewish State, and not just a democracy; and while no one knows exactly what that mans, it appears a means to Constitutionally further limit the rights of non-Jews.

I fear for Israel, and that fear extends to the Jewish people. As goes the State of Israel, so goes Jewish history. An Israel that oppresses its Arab minority will fail. Amos Oz recently wrote that the Prime Minister is poised to take on the entire world, and certainly sees himself and the world's savior from a nuclear Iran.

A non-democratic Israel will never be the State of the Jewish people, no matter how much Hebrew is spoken or how many Jewish holidays it keeps. And ultra-Orthodoxy is neither Judaism nor expressive of the soul of the Jewish people. Israel is losing its way, as the south lost its way by oppressing human beings. It is not too late. I pray Israel turns from its oppressive direction, and once again lives by the prophetic spirit: "What is it that the Lord requires of you? Only to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with God."

Parashat Behar: That Your Brother May Live with You

Leviticus 25:35-36:
How shall we treat others?
Leviticus 19:18 commands, "Love your neighbor as yourself." But our tradition instructs that is impossible, against nature. Who can love a neighbor the same as himself? So, what's next?
In the Babylonian Talmud, Baba Metzia 62a, we read the story of two men in the desert who have enough water for only one to survive. Rabbi ben Petura observes that both should drink and both die, since neither life is more sacred. Rabbi Akiva teaches that the one holding the water should drink it, for then at least one will survive. What's the rule: when only one can survive, your life takes precedence.
But is that all?  No, there's more.
In this week's Torah portion, Leviticus 25:36, we find, "... that your brother may live with you."  What does that mean? In the Babylonian Talmud Kiddushin 20a we find that if you own a slave you must treat him as you would treat your neighbor. He must eat like you and sleep like you. If there is only one pillow, the slave uses it, "That your brother may live with you." So we discover that if only one person can survive, your life takes precedence. But you may not treat those dependent on you , like a slave, as inferior, and you must provide for him as for yourself. Tradition says, "If you own a slave, the slave owns you."
The Talmudic Encyclopedia says that the mitzvah is to save a person whose life is in danger, both because we are not permitted to "stand idly by the blood of a stranger," (Lev. 19:16) and because of the law of returning a lost object. If a Jew sees a lost object, it must be returned to the owner. If you see someone about to lose his life, you must return that life to him! A person in danger must be saved, even if we are not sure that the danger will take his life, whether save him bodily or financially. (Talmudic Encyclopedia)
This is also a source of the mitzvah to give money to the poor (Maimonides, Laws of Gifts to the Poor, chpt. 7:1) and of redeeming captives (ibid. 8:10)(See Nicholas Kristof's column in Friday's Star re: Rohingya refugees from Myanmar, where Buddhists are murdering Muslims and they are fleeing to the sea.)
The Torah in Leviticus 25 discusses not charging usury or interest. (Think: Payday Loans in contemporary society) However, Torah Temimah to Leviticus (note 192, p. 539) discusses cogently why loaning at interest is now permitted. In Biblical times, Torah Temimah instructs us, the basis of making a living was from the land. Anyone who needed to borrow was borrowing for the staples of life, like bread, and therefore it was forbidden to charge interest. But in the Middle Ages (Yamei haBeiniyim), when Jews did not work the land, the basis of earning a living was from money -- buying and selling -- and therefore charging interest became foundational to making  a living itself. The basics of making a living changed. But the law's essence, "That your brother may live with you," did not change. That remains.
So what do we conclude?  In Kansas and Missouri, at the beginning of the 21st Century, religious people are commanded to ordain laws, "... so that your brother may live with you." No, we are not commanded to sacrifice our lives for our brothers and sisters. But we are commanded to save them from death, whether physical or financial. Clearly, allowing people to die because they do not have access to medical care because of finances is therefore forbidden by the Torah and Jewish Law. Allowing people to starve is also forbidden. And charging interest so that people are placed in very dangerous circumstances, also forbidden by the Torah.
Shabbat shalom.

Truth

There is today a shift away from truth as a cherished value or an essential for societal decision making. Gov. Sam Brownback came to this conclusion way before me, and perhaps is its best exemplar. He lies about education funding, the state budget, caring for the poor, providing health benefits for the infirm, not wanting to rely on "uncertain Federal money" to fund Medicaid expansion, and voter fraud, and despite his many lies the people voted him a second term anyway. Ideology now trumps truth for many people.

Ideology cannot coerce nature or balance budgets where income does not match expenditures, but it disguises crevices in thinking so that people make allowances. In a world where truthiness is good enough, we substitute desire for fact until the world collapses around us. Then we will blame the perceived enemy.

Thomas Kuhn's landmark work The Structure of Scientific Revolutions in 1962 proved to the world that thought structures reality rather than the reverse. In the section of Torah we are currently reading, termed The Holiness Code, we  witness that the Bible perceives the world as divided between that which is holy and that which is profane. A hallmark of modernity, the last 300 years of Western history, has been that we no longer consider history as holy. It's now just time, and all time is the same.

What we lost, and this is subtle, is the wherewithal to consider certain ideas and actions as holy, as the embodiment of everything that is absolutely good and worthwhile in our world. Your choices may not be my choices, we often hear, but who am I to condemn or select for you? You live your own life, and I'll live mine. We abhor absolutisms, and leave them for the "fundamentalists." We neither discern nor support any hierarchy of values, no absolute holiness to life. All choices are strictly personal, and ultimately have the same value. The result is that all life becomes banal, devoid of ultimate meaning, of holiness.

The Holiness Code in Leviticus stresses that certain times are holy, that's why we call them holiday, "holy days." The Bible asserts that God infuses certain times as special, above the mundane, times in which we are connected differently with the ultimacy. I support the "holiness" concept of history, even while I reject the fundamentalist interpretation of such values.

Holiness demands that certain values reign above others, like "Love your neighbor as yourself," (Leviticus 19:18) or "Proclaim liberty throughout the land unto all the inhabitants thereof," (Leviticus 25:10 and The Liberty Bell).

Sadly, rejecting holiness as the ground of our being, modern people put their ultimate faith not in values but in the self. But if we have learned anything in the last century and from our own lives, it is that the self is quixotic and unreliable.  

The true religious struggle is not whether there is ultimacy, but discovering in what we can place our absolute faith, and creating a community of believers with whom we can share our beliefts and our actions. These are the challenges of modern religion: not whether there is a God, but determining what God authentically requires of us and how we can create a fellowship to turn God's presence into human reality.

Parashat Kedoshim April 24, 2015:

"Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind." Leviticus 19:14
It is taught: Rabbi Natan says, where do we learn that a person should not extend a cup of wine to a Nazirite (who has taken an oath not to drink wine) or a limb taken from a living animal to a Noahite? The Torah commands, "Do not put a stumbling block before the blind." (Babylonia Talmud, Pesahim 22b)
Did your mom (sorry for picking on moms) ever insist that your table guest, whom mom knew to be on a diet, eat more? "Stumbling block before the blind."
Did you ever see a salesman offer a product s/he knew the buyer ought not afford? "Stumbling block before the blind."
Have you ever knowingly offered a drink to an alcoholic? "Stumbling block before the blind."
Jews are biblically and talmudically prohibited from enticing a person into something the speaker knows to be bad for the listener. Notice that one example above is a Jew, and one a gentile. This commandment extends to how we treat both.

Have you ever accepted a compliment for something you knew you didn't do? "Stumbling block before the blind."
We curse the deaf and put stumbling blocks before the blind often in our culture, where watching others fail is too often an art form. Someone I know ran into another person we both know. The person gave the second person a big hello! When the second person came over to talk, having been greeted with elaborate friendship, the first person launched into an unexpected and highly impolite personal criticism of something the first person assumed the second person had done! "Cursing the deaf."
I often have observed people setting verbal traps for people they know, hoping the victim will feel inferior or bad about him/herself. The method is simple: say something that will encourage the victim to let down their guard (cursing the deaf), then say something socially insulting as a surprise.
There's something referred to as "Kansas City nice." It's when a person says nice things to you in polite company, then talks about you in private in uncomplimentary terms. "Cursing the deaf."
Jewish law's intention is to create a civil society, one in which each human being is treated as the very "image of God." Would you curse the image of God? No, of course not. Then why do we say things to hurt the feelings of those around us?

Often I hear people criticize the minutiae of Jewish law. But there's a reason Jewish law is so detailed. It's because life is so detailed. Each moment, each action, makes a difference.

"Who is the person who is eager for life, who desires years of good fortune?
Guard your tongue from evil, and your lips from deceitful speech.Shun evil and do good, seek amity and pursue it." Psalms 34:13-14.

"Love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18) is a very difficult commandment to fulfill! You don't do something nice for your neighbor every time you do something nice for yourself! You don't go out and buy a new dress or sport jacket for yourself, or take a lovely vacation or buy running shoes, and think, "Hey, who else needs one of these?" 

But we can treat our neighbors as we would want to be treated. When I am a sick, I'd like others to be considerate of how bad I feel, check on me to make sure I have adequate food, remember me and think to call. Since I want that for myself, I can try to remember to do that for others, even if I don't have the time to do it for everyone. I can keep in mind "Loving my neighbor as I want to be loved."

More than "Love your neighbor ... " I respond to the implied commandment in "And God said, 'Let us make humanity in our image, according to our likeness ... '" (Gen. 1:26)  It demands of me that I see every human being as possessing the same God image I treasure in myself and my family. When a homeless man standing at the exit from I-35 at Broadway or State Line at Somerset holds up a sign that says, "Homeless, feeding children, no work," I ask myself how I would want to be treated if that were me. We're both God's image. How much need someone beg before I treat him the way I'd want you to respond to me? How would I want to be judged by you?

My father (z"l) used to tell me, "The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions." I always intend to do the right thing! But sometimes ...

I know there are homeless people in Kansas City. And I won't suffer if I help them out! But, immediately these questions pop into my head, "Do they really need the help? Will they use the help I provide as I intend?" But finding the answer to these questions takes too much time and effort; it burdens my schedule. "The road to Hell ..."

Fortunately, like the calvary arriving in the knick of time, the staff of the reStart Shelter asks the right questions, gets real answers, and provides the help homeless children, women and men need to get shelter and food, and to make themselves independent. They keep the homeless off my doorstep begging me to fill their empty stomachs or give shelter for the night.

I support reStart because THEY DO WHAT I CAN'T. They improve my life! And so now I am going to ask what I have never asked before online: reStart must rebuild their dining hall. They will feed more people. They will train homeless people to take jobs in restaurants, as wait staff and cooks. They train people with the skills to get jobs, rent apartments, restore dignity, get off government welfare, turn their lives around. And I don't have to do it! I can get off the road to Hell if I will help reStart do what I cannot.

Kacy and I just donated $3,000 to match a challenge grant to rebuild reStart's dining room, make the food training program possible, and give the homeless a computer room to work in so they can apply for jobs! I am asking for your help.

If you want to get off the Road to Hell; if you want to do your part to improve the ONLY NON-SECTARIAN SHELTER IN KANSAS CITY; if you want to save lives, send a contribution to my discretionary fund at Beth Torah: any amount of money will do: $10, $50, $500, $3000 – whatever. Consider this my attempt at crowd sourcing. Many of us have volunteered at reStart. The Mabee Foundation is matching up to $100,000. Double your money! Take away the doubt of "Is this person really needy?" Let reStart do the work; and while we're at it: let's save two souls, the homeless and ours.

Mark your check: reStart Shelter, and send to: Rabbi Mark Levin, Congregation Beth Torah, 6100 W. 127th St., Overland Park, KS 66209. Save the image of God.

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