I have always worried about my intellectual acumen. But I figure I couldn't sound dumber than Ted Cruz, and he gets lots of press.  And isn't that the goal?  I couldn't be a bigger liar than ....  Well, I'll leave that out.  But you get the idea.  Clearly facts no longer matter, and I figure the time must be ripe for me to express my opinions: the grapes of truth have ripened on the vine of self-adulation.  So I am ready for prime-time.  After all, who better to engage in truthiness than one who occupies a pulpit!
Standing on the brink of retirement as I do, seems to me I should get a running start on wasting time, mine and others'. I don't know that I can ever achieve the demagogue status Cruz aspires to.  I figure it's not just inborn talent. It must require practice.  So if I'm going to expand my influence beyond 1, I'd better start honing my skills.  I'm getting out my whetting stone and sharpening my obfuscations. Now there's a mixed metaphor; but that's exactly what I mean! No one any longer cares about clarity of thought or language use.  So the world is finally ready for me.
So here it goes: my launch.  Criticize away, who cares. As long as you read what I write.  I'll stand 21 hours on the floor of the Senate reciting inanities if the press will just cover every exhalation. As for impact: Let us not forget that sage Ecclesiastes' opening gambit, "Nothing matters anyway," or something close to that; I forget precisely; but you get the idea.